Start again

I died. Then I lied there on the wooden old stage, keeping half an eye open towards the high darkness above, making sure that I collapsed just on the right spot, and that the falling curtain is not going to cut my head off, for real.
Then what felt like a hurricane of feeling stormed into me and when I stood up my eyes teared up. This was my good bye . Good bye Carmen. Good bye audience, (who began to clap steadily , in rhythm, louder and louder, yelling "Bravo" and standing up to cheer!). Wasn't that my vision at some point?

I couldn't sleep that night, last night. I was overwhelmed.
Now I am going to a new place, where I have never been before. Stepping out of the little plane, off my connecting flight to Valencia, somewhere in spain I guess, but I felt the essence of loneliness.
Even though I am in an airport, and therefore I should feel like I am nowhere specific in the world; The airport language is one and the people are too; still I can't help but feeling like I am on to a strange and unfamiliar adventure.
I asked the man at the bar for a "cafe con leche por favor" and hoped that he'd say I owed him something that stars with "Uno" or "Dos" so I can hand him out the correct amount of coins in numbers I can still understand. (just kidding, just kidding, of course I know how to count to 5 in spanish.. ;) )
Yes, here I am feeling like a five year old girl lost in a universe of a department store.
It is all up to me to survive until I find someone big, in charge; Until I become familiar with the people, the customs, with the language and with my new self in it all.