Saturday, September 30, 2006

Cancelled

Some meany up there decided to twist my arm until I am on the ground, in pain, crying, bagging him to stop. But he just wouldn't , until I cancelled my show.
I woke up this morning vomiting (and all else), and with nausea since 7 am. Some stomach virus my husband had a week ago.. And today it's mine. TODAY! My show day.
I fought with it the entire day. vocalized, tried to eat (but only managed to bite on a quarter of a toast and some egg white) and drank as much water as I could. By 2PM I convinced my self that I was fine, but every 15 minutes there was another wave of nausea which made me fall flat on the bed having to rest.
Of course, first thing in the morning I called the opera house and warned them so that they can let my cover know about the situation. But I left my self some more hours to make a decision.
By 4:30 PM, I wasn't feeling nauseous anymore, but I tried to run from one corner of the living room to another, just to see if I can make it on stage, and I just felt like a sleepless zombie, having to lay down again. I guess I can shove a cold aside and still do it somehow, but with nausea I just can't win.
called manager, voice teacher and a colleague I trust. All said: "Cancel". ( what if I faint on stage and break a bone. What if I sing/ act less than fantastic. As I have learnt pretty recently, THAT I can not afford).
Husband was trying to tell me that since 7 AM. I am thinking about the music I will miss, the stage, the bunch of friends who are coming especially to hear me, the audience, my colleagues, the money that I truly need thank you very much, (we rehearse for free, we get paid per show), and of course, the chance that someone helpful for my career might actually be there tonight.
But I had to cancel. And so I did. I can't even describe in words how hard this is for me. But this is it. My very first cancellation,ever. It is 4:46 PM, and lying here on my fluffy light blue bed, under the comforter (yea, right, such "comfort" alright...) I feel like I still could have gone and made it fine. I hope the hand of fate is freaking happy now. (and lately all I've been getting was THE FINGER!) There. I cancelled. Now let me go on with MY plan please!

1 Comments:

Blogger coloratur...aaah said...

You made the right decision. Just concentrate on feeling better and kicking some tail when you're 110%.
It's a pleasure to read your insightful thoughts--
Shana tova from a fellow 'israelit'.

9:34 PM  

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