Friday, June 20, 2008

Replaced




I went to visit my family in Israel but ended up having a pretty full- blown spiritual week, since I was hanging out with healers and psychics and Kabala master minds. I didn't really intend to but that's how it happened and I also got some pretty amazing results I will tell you all about maybe later.
I also felt the far -away existence of my reality and how detached my life can be, traveling here and there and not REALLY ever surrounding my self with the kind of unconditional acceptance I so need.
I have been thinking about the replacement factor of my life; How I am constantly being replaced ; As we speak, I can give you three examples of current productions that simply replaced me. I sang there before. now it's back; same costumes, same director/ conductor, even some of the original cast, but not me. Normal people with normal jobs, might get replaced once or twice at their job, in their entire life time, only if they were dreadful. But performers, with their gentle, already hurt soul, get exchanged and replaced on a monthly basis.
How do I feel about it? as much as I understand it; Still shitty.
I can only hope that my dear ones don't replace me, and that my friends won't rush to the next special, fun girl, (or whatever, which exists anyway, just like good Mezzo Sopranos, a dime a dozen), and forget I ever was there before... and if they do, I might throw some auditions and find out maybe there is a girl out there who can play me better.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Giorgia said...

Aww, don't be silly! :) Nobody can really replace you! Actually, I think it's a good thing they didn't call you for this Carmen revival, it didn't sound half the good it did in 2006 (and I'm not saying that just 'cos you're my friend, even people who don't personally know you said the same...).

And, singing aside, nobody could EVER replace Rini!!! :)

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ma Ze ha shtuyot ha ele?? it is not possible to replace you my dear!! you are the rare original!! but sadly most people can only cope with a very limited dose of othenticity (emotional, musical, etc...!!) and so this is just the natural selection (noo ma laasot). for us who loved you and were unconditionaly loved by you way befor you where a world famous mezo sopran...! your place in our hearts is garentead always!!! and actualy just remembering your wholehearted exhistense, regardless of the social norms...! you are the one that remind our hearts what they where ment to be doing- the manifestation of unconditional love! and the courage for always being who you are!! and for that i will always be greatfull to be calld your friend!!
Love
Nuli

9:23 AM  

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