Goodbye Babi
3/19/1914- 1/30/2007

Columbus circle stands still

At the end of a most freezing day, I walked along the subway tracks, as I heard the faint sound of a cello.
I stopped and listened. Now I could clearly hear it was the beautiful melody of "The swan" by Saint-Saens, coming from another platform, reaching us wherever we are.
I looked at the rest of the people standing quietly, and for a moment it seemed like nobody moved or made any noise ; We were all listening to this bewitching tune, wishing the train wouldn't arrive so soon.

Go back.

Two jobs came in ( they tend to do that; Come in 2's, like I'm Noah's arc) and even though neither is a (new) role I am dying to do, I will still, *happily* do it.( After all, I did make a hand-written sign in my mind, I lift daily on the corner of fame street and art avenue, with a mixed look of pride and of shame, which reads: "will sing for a career").
Roles usually grow on me (except only a very few which actually shrunk on me) so I tend to learn'em, do them, and like'em eventually. Knowing that, I am more than willing to give it a good honest try.
My suitcase is almost packed with what would be the lowest -key packing I have ever done. Tomorrow I am going to visit my mamaland, my family and childhood friends. Usually you'll find lots of high heels, jackets, make up and pretty stuff when I go on a gig, but this time I just want to wear pajamas and stay home with my old folks. I think it's a vital thing to do as long as we are allowed by our lifeline to still do it;
Regress for a couple of weeks. Forget about your professional persona. No blush no mascara. Just a little me.

Auditions.

I had a few pretty good auditions this past week. But as I felt serious about new rep, my last lesson was about what NEW stuff can sound good, coming out of my weird mouth.
After that I went to the MET to see the First Emperor which I actually truly enjoyed; seated right behind the composer/conductor at the pit, and able to watch both stage AND orchestra, I really loved all the Chinese quotes and mixes, and the lush production, and the good acting and singing, especially coming out of Mr. Domingo.
This dear fantastic artists; I have met him several times before (personally introduced by Barenboim, and then bumping into each other on a few different occasions in Vienna, and in New York), and this time around, I was taken there by a good old friend of his, who led me right into the " VIP only" dressing room area.
After exchanges of warm regards and compliments, I gratefully received an overdue "audition" time slot from him, which put me in a state of sheer excitement for the next 24 hours.
I feel OK in auditions; cattle calls, ("nnnext!"), managers , singers, and lots of opinions whispered around.OK by me.
But where I can be really good, is usually when it is the "one on one " session; only me, and the conductor. (oh , and the pianist! ) :)
So yesterday, early evening, the fabulous Domingo came to the orchestra rehearsal room at the MET and gave me a chance.
I think I was very nervous only because while I was singing, it hit me: he KNOWS exactly what I am doing here, he can read me TOO well! technically or emotionaly, whatever I "fake" or manipulate, he can tell; after all, he *is* a singer himself!
Mister Domingo must be the busiest man on earth, and probably is extremely tired too. He was very nice to me and a perfect gentleman. (no flirting, to all of you who were worried).
Thank God, I passed his "preliminaries". My next round would be to sing for him on his own main stage, where he can truly judge my voice as it is, in the real space.
Frankly I was hoping for a better and more instant result than that, but after a pretty intensive few past months really, I guess I wasn't my absolute best yesterday. What can ya do. I will try to forgive my self today, and look forward to next month.
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Start again

Oh dear, it's been rough, and we had to sum it up. So after a short yet intense meeting with my managers the decision was to reinvent my self. (speaking of reinventing; I recently bumped into an old class mate from Curtis who has just changed her NAME for the sake, well, for a chance of a better singing career!)
Re-inventing; I am happy to do so because I think inventing is exactly what I have been missing in my life so far. We were talking about new repertoire, and in February I am planning on checking out a few new roles I'd eventually like to learn, and more importantly, learn to love. Apparently, it takes weird artists like myself or Antonacci literally decades to have opera houses and audiences believe us or, believe in us.
Now my choice is to either find the rep I could wear and still look like a dream come true, or just bag it all and start my own garageband. In early dark mornings I tend to not want to do anything at all, but shortly after being fed and loved, I usually find the courage again. And this is, my friends, what it's all about: Courage.
And damn, I sing about it all the time; whether I am Blanche or Carmen, Cherubino or Rosina;( Funny or not); I think THIS is the time I need to follow their lead and lift my chin up. Any suggestion for new roles? New names? Plastic surgeon?

Best Carmen production ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmyD4nxB2io