I am getting waves of happiness and depression
If you are surrounded by people who have more than you have of the very same thing you wish to have , do you get depressed, or inspired?
I get both.
I also have been fighting with my weight again. This is an unresolved eternal battle for me; The fat kid in kindergarten, the fat girl in school, the chubby one later. 85 kilos (what is it , like 185 pounds or something?) got quite a few of them lost on a bloody battle field, which will always remain that: a battle field.
You don't get skinny and become a skinny person. You drop weight, you might even get skinny one day , but you never *become* it.
Here, where lunch AND dinner are both social events, it means that food and drink are part of a long interaction with the only people around who are creating a home for me. And when food and drink are becoming not a necessity anymore but a habit; well, that's where things start to go wrong.
I immediately joined the gym. I am no fool. I know what to expect when there's more energy intake than use.
But even with the gym, things are not easy. It's the state of mind that I need to adopt, and I just find so hard to do; I feel like I most certainly deserve that glass of wine with a nice meal.( Especially when they talk about all their MET booking up to 2012). cheers.
If you are surrounded by people who have more than you have of the very same thing you wish to have , do you get depressed, or inspired?
I get both.
I also have been fighting with my weight again. This is an unresolved eternal battle for me; The fat kid in kindergarten, the fat girl in school, the chubby one later. 85 kilos (what is it , like 185 pounds or something?) got quite a few of them lost on a bloody battle field, which will always remain that: a battle field.
You don't get skinny and become a skinny person. You drop weight, you might even get skinny one day , but you never *become* it.
Here, where lunch AND dinner are both social events, it means that food and drink are part of a long interaction with the only people around who are creating a home for me. And when food and drink are becoming not a necessity anymore but a habit; well, that's where things start to go wrong.
I immediately joined the gym. I am no fool. I know what to expect when there's more energy intake than use.
But even with the gym, things are not easy. It's the state of mind that I need to adopt, and I just find so hard to do; I feel like I most certainly deserve that glass of wine with a nice meal.( Especially when they talk about all their MET booking up to 2012). cheers.
posted by Singin'rin at 7:30 PM
3 Comments:
My moods, too, have been very, very volatile of late. And I am re-reading "The Secret" on the subway... and writing gratitude lists ("I am so happy and grateful NOW...") morning and evening.
You are often part of my gratitude lists. :-*
I found out today that, in my own domain, someone I know (and don't especially like) got a job that I would have liked. I am praying that this person (who has been unkind to me in the past) be blessed, prospered, and healed. I am trying, really, really trying...
I perfectly understand how you feel, Rini.
BUT think of this: you do have a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE amount of talent most people just don't have. You're maybe a long-distance runner in comparison to those people you're talking about here, BUT you're f00kin' blessed with talent (<< see? that was my fake Scottish accent... :D) and you're a wonderful person on top of that (most talented people are not, believe me - they go on and on thinking "oh, I'm gorgeous!" and end up wasting their time only *thinking* about that, until someone wakes them up and tell the "know what? you should *prove* us you're gorgeous, too, not just say you are..."...), you've achieved a lot and I'm 100% sure you will achieve a lot more in the future - you deserve it and will get far and ever further!
Plus, *I* am blessed by you being my friend, and *YOU* give me a lot of inspiration - so behave, girl, and have no fear, 'cos YOU ROCK!!! :)))
OMG. so glad to hear other singers talking about this issue...it's also such a stuggle for me!
CHEERS!!! WE CAN DO IT!
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