Monday, April 23, 2007

I am getting waves of happiness and depression
If you are surrounded by people who have more than you have of the very same thing you wish to have , do you get depressed, or inspired?
I get both.
I also have been fighting with my weight again. This is an unresolved eternal battle for me; The fat kid in kindergarten, the fat girl in school, the chubby one later. 85 kilos (what is it , like 185 pounds or something?) got quite a few of them lost on a bloody battle field, which will always remain that: a battle field.
You don't get skinny and become a skinny person. You drop weight, you might even get skinny one day , but you never *become* it.
Here, where lunch AND dinner are both social events, it means that food and drink are part of a long interaction with the only people around who are creating a home for me. And when food and drink are becoming not a necessity anymore but a habit; well, that's where things start to go wrong.
I immediately joined the gym. I am no fool. I know what to expect when there's more energy intake than use.
But even with the gym, things are not easy. It's the state of mind that I need to adopt, and I just find so hard to do; I feel like I most certainly deserve that glass of wine with a nice meal.( Especially when they talk about all their MET booking up to 2012). cheers.

3 Comments:

Anonymous vilaine fille said...

My moods, too, have been very, very volatile of late. And I am re-reading "The Secret" on the subway... and writing gratitude lists ("I am so happy and grateful NOW...") morning and evening.

You are often part of my gratitude lists. :-*

I found out today that, in my own domain, someone I know (and don't especially like) got a job that I would have liked. I am praying that this person (who has been unkind to me in the past) be blessed, prospered, and healed. I am trying, really, really trying...

10:27 PM  
Anonymous Giorgia said...

I perfectly understand how you feel, Rini.

BUT think of this: you do have a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE amount of talent most people just don't have. You're maybe a long-distance runner in comparison to those people you're talking about here, BUT you're f00kin' blessed with talent (<< see? that was my fake Scottish accent... :D) and you're a wonderful person on top of that (most talented people are not, believe me - they go on and on thinking "oh, I'm gorgeous!" and end up wasting their time only *thinking* about that, until someone wakes them up and tell the "know what? you should *prove* us you're gorgeous, too, not just say you are..."...), you've achieved a lot and I'm 100% sure you will achieve a lot more in the future - you deserve it and will get far and ever further!

Plus, *I* am blessed by you being my friend, and *YOU* give me a lot of inspiration - so behave, girl, and have no fear, 'cos YOU ROCK!!! :)))

11:51 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

OMG. so glad to hear other singers talking about this issue...it's also such a stuggle for me!
CHEERS!!! WE CAN DO IT!

11:38 AM  

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