The morning after

The show went very well. I mean: I was really surprised... AfterI've been feeling so shitty and down for the past whatever I actually decided to take the opportunity to have some fun while I can, which is, as it happens; ON STAGE.
The voice was there, and because it's a funky, colorful production filled with over- acting silliness (which I generally hate) once in a blue moon it is actually a relief to be silly and stupid and not worry about it. (and while I am at selling away my artistic integrity already, hell why not?!)
My manager (whom I love to pieces!) was there since he manages 3 of us, and we all went to eat and drink loudly afterwards at La Rustica (which is basically the only place around still open at 11:30pm).
Today I will show my face in DB's Wagner rehearsal and see how it goes. note: Auditioning is not necessarily only SINGING always, and since I sang alright, I am going to work on some other aspects of the career (it's called P.R, and I have decided that hiring a pro for that matter will have to happen sooner or later anyway).

Berlin, Saturday.

I had this strange 24 hour flu it seems.. after coffee with my friends Robby and Merten,I got such crazy chills down my spine, I had to return to the hotel and then started the fever, I know I must have had pretty high fever because I was freezing, FREEEEZING, and sweating like hell.
I did what I do best: get over it as quickly as possible. Covered up with 3 blankets and 2 sweaters and went to sleep and got it out of my system.
I showed up for the dress rehearsal (some of the opera ,we were doing for the first time.. now with orchestra and costumes and all). I am fine today. Barenboim canceled on us cuz he's got too much on his plate and his health almost can't take it (and with all these famous conductors dropping out he should really watch it...), so there you go. I won't say much more about this because I am still very bitter, so I'll keep it to my self.
Anyways, it is Saturday today and Brunch was as wonderful as it always is at Belluno's in Kollwitzplatz. (I love having my regular places and my regular friends whenever I come back!) and after we pigged out there (it's 'eat as much as you like' on Saturday and sunday) we actually went on to Potsdamer platz and got a gelato there an hour later!!!

Not by bread alone

Believe me when I tell you:The German have absolutely perfected the terms "BREAD" and "CAKE " and everything in between that might fall into either category (or both!).
Too bad for a fatty like me who gains 2 pounds only from a little natural FRUIT sugar!

Jet Lag

Because I wasn't really mentally ready for this trip, my jet lag hit me like it never has before.
I just cannot sleep. Went to bed at midnight and laid awake until 7:30 in the morning (and that's with the failed attempt of 3 worth -for- nothing pills!).
Only 3 hours later, at 10:30, I was already rehearsing, until 5 PM.
I thought about canceling but since we have so little time and so many people from the cast are already missing, I thought I could use the rehearsal no matter what.
I managed to rehearse thank God but I am absolutely pooped now. Good night! (hopefully!)

Cosi cosi

I got to Berlin on a pretty comfy flight with Lufthansa which will fly me through Frankfurt directly to Miami after I am done here.
The thing was, that my carry on seemed too big for the bee-ach at the Frankfurt airport and she forced me to check it in. Of course, all my expensive essentials were in that carry on, and even though I was smart enough to get my laptop and charger out, I still had the rest in that bag and the bad feeling that she was going to show me who's in power and ship it on a different flight, which she did.
Things like that make me MAD and unhappy and so even my nice hotel I decided to spare for my self , and the fact that I love Berlin, didn't cheer me up much until I got the freaking carry on delivered to my room at 1 AM.
In the mean time, I again realize how lucky I was to have been at Covent Garden,for a new production, with all the time required for some serious, good artistic work. coming back to a norml repertoire house, in a returning production; we get only 4 or 5 days of VERY general rehearsal with extreme basics of blocking ("you go there now. then you go there...") and indeed, "there" you are; up on stage to do whatever it is you might be able to do, depending on your talent and experience. (That's really the normal sitution in most companies these days, unfortunately). So the only "growth" I'm getting right now is by eating those wonderful German Mohn-kranz cakes!
At any rate, I got me the high speed Internet I need so much and I tremendously enjoy my new ipod! (what a fantastic invention!) , and oh, I've got about 3000 really good friends here!
Back to the score for a bit, xox r.

Surprise!

Life can be interesting. As I was sinking into my usual "post work= depression" mode, something in the stars decided to lift me up, this time on a real plane, and get me back into singing, quickly,even if it means no real time to rest in between gigs; I am flying to Berlin this evening, to jump in as Dorabella in Cosi fan Tutte. I have done this very same production before, and although it's been over a year, I was pleasantly surprised to discover,looking at the score just now, that most of it is still fresh in my old head..
In Berlin the wonderful and crazy Barenboim is "waiting for me" at the pit, and along with him, a full cast of close friends I can't wait to see again and to sing with (and funnily enough, my Contessa from London, the fabulous Dorothea Roschmann, who wished to work with me again "sometimes soon" is getting me after only 2 weeks, little did she know...this time as a SISTER!)
I love Berlin, and even though I am missing some rest time, and recovery time, and time together for me and for Peter, (and yes, I am flying directly into "Carmen" right after this), I still feel that there's a better and bigger reason for this quick change of plans.
I will write more once I get my Internet straight over there, in east Berlin. (you never know, with this damn Europe ;) ...Auf Wiedersehen!

There is still a chance... :)

Anna Netrebko VS Moi

What now

I am feeling a bit under the weather, as I knew I would; It is taking me a long time to unwind this time around.
Lucky our bathtub in the new place is one of these old pre-war deep tubs.. you can literally be covered in water over your head if you want to.
I so missed taking a bubble bath in London, since I didn't have a bath tub where I was.
So now is my time to relax and get back to my New York, and my other self.
My good friend Larry, the fabulous colorist from Devachan, gave me a nice layered hair cut, and I started changing the way I paint my face, (less eyeliner, less drama) after discussing my image with a super-star colleague of mine in London.
My secret wish is to one day look like Anna Netrebko WITHOUT the high maintenance that seems to be involved in it all.
Anyways, that's where I am at the moment. 2 weeks of non sense and the never ending effort to stop worrying for only a day.

Reality

Have I just woken up
Shook off a dream
I vaguely remember :
Stage, wig, wine at 2 in the morning
The cigarette smoke and the place shuts down
Applause , high heels,then the lonely slumber.

Have I just fallen asleep?
Back into a dream of
a lovely house on the hill, loving husband
breakfast in bed and the
comfort of my pillow, soaking old
dreams of stage,wig,wine?