Packing thoughts

As my next flight is approaching, I am getting ready to depart, mentally. I have been home for quite a while, and getting used to another one for the next 5 weeks, is calling for preparation. I start writing a list of things I will need to have with me.
Here is a small section of it:
* My European cell phone+ charger (first thing I do is get my local SIM card so I'd have a local number immediately)
* Electricity plug converters (American laptop is gasping for electricity in Europe.. "Need to be charged.. Need to be chh..")
* Gym clothes/ sneakers ( I don't always find a gym in Europe, as it is not as gym -obsessed as the States, but having the clothes around at least, is the healthier option...)
*Ying Chao pills and other natural remedies for the common cold (can't bother exploring the European "Bio" shops only to find some sugary vitamins).
* My favorite Devachan hair products for curly hair ( you can't find it anywhere but in my shower)
* Evening dress/ shoes/jewelry (" You are cordially invited to attend our bla bla bla Gala event" or : " We are Mr. and Mrs. Owners of the opera world... We'd love to have you join us at the " Owners of the universe" restaurant")
* My Carmen "gadgets": corset, hair extensions, bra pads (!) , castanets. (You never know; YOUR own stuff might be better than theirs or just plainly needed)
* My ARIA book. ("ring ring... This is your manager... Can you sing an audition for La scala tomorrow"?)
Then, of course, there are the regular things that are almost an undetectable part of my suitcase, and the ones that are only seasonal (like; This time around I will take a couple of nice boots and some skirts, so I can fit into the Italian fall first thing, before the shopping...).

Rise and shine

Last night I was invited to attend a private concert at Tully Hall. The guest artist was Rolando Villazon.
Now, I've known Rolando for a few years. Not very well, but we've met in Berlin, and later in New York.
I was scheduled to be his original first Carmen, and for reasons I don't care to share right now, I had to pass that opportunity, and let Marina Domashenko get famous instead.
But back to last night; The minute Rolando appears on stage you can see that he's a true star. There is something about stars. I felt the same way when I saw ( then an unknown) Bejun Mehta perform a few years back; Those people step on stage, and it doesn't really matter whether you like their voice or looks or style ; You still have to admit how crystal clear it is: Their future is going to be huge, if everything goes right. They are just DIFFERENT. You can say: BETTER. But most distinctively, they SHINE, like nobody else around.
Rolando was performing a series of modern Greek songs and even though the music wasn't the most brilliant of all compositions, he still made it sound (and look) so profound, sad, beautiful, meaningful, musical, and with constant strong top.
Of course the audience went nuts, especially after the impressive "Granada" encore.
Afterwards we all went to the famous "Cafe des Artists". (I was thinking to my self how ironic it is to call it by that name; this fancy, expensive restaurant most true artists can't even afford to pronounce...) Nevertheless I enjoyed an extremely tasty five course, five star meal, and was being charming and entertaining to the mega billionaire organizers who invited me to come along. Here is an interesting challenge, I actually like: Try to shine *without* any singing.

Ahh it's a nice day

I am happy again. My mailbox was flooded with fanmail from last night and I finally got my Italian work visa, and I just can NOT wait till Sunday; my last show before a 2 week break, where I can really be doing whatever. Do you know how MUCH I miss drinking (ahhm..fermented..) grape juice with dinner? (and not grape*fruit juice) ? Simple pleasures such as this go out the window when I have this beeatch CARMEN's health to worry about.
2 weeks of "no worries mate" will do good to this locked up girl. A bit of a Lower East Side infusion instead of the Upper West. The hustle and bustle of China Town on a Sunday morning,the last few rays of a confused late spring day who came back just to put us all in a better mood. Bump into some old friends. Spontaneous party (end up dancing in the living room until 2 in the morning). Stuff. Will I finally get my pianist friend to read some Schumann or some Duparc with me, just for fun? Jese, I haven't touched the art of song for too damn long.

Keanu Reeves cruised me!

I couldn't stand the ugly MacBook stain on my new one anymore, so I finally gave it back to its birth place; the fancy (la di da) Apple store on 5th Ave.(did I mention I really don't like that location?)
Take it, fix it, whatever. I kinda felt relieved; after all these months with my new Mac, I still feel like it's my adopted child, but not really a favorite. I am still suspicious, I guess because I HATE cults, and I feel like loving my Mac would make me one of them. Mac cult, yuck.
So I left it there to be fixed and came back home to my original baby; the little Averatec 1050, which died on me twice and was revived, and has been waiting since then for big bro Mac to take a damn hike, so we can get reunited. Alone. Happily.
And on my way from 5th Ave crossing to Columbus circle, guess what: Keanu Reeves, (yes, him!) was walking towards me, And Bless his skinny little pretty face, he eyed me up and down and up again and then stared deep into my eyes for the entire 30 seconds we passed each other crossing east to west , west to east.
I immediately called 2 of my gay friends (who else would hear me) just so I can report that later incident and hear back my absolute favorite (!) expression of excited disbelieve: "Shut uuuuup!"

Poster

Sorry if you might be disappointed by the extreme anti- glam event I am going to share here, but here it is ; Yesterday morning I woke myself up laughing out loud (in my dream my husband was disguised as an orthodox Jewish woman, but with a thick beard covered in flowers, I was laughing at him so hard I actually woke up!), I felt good about my last few shows, t'was sunny, I was smiley, and so I decided to bring home the (bigger than) life- size 2005-2006 NYCO season poster which was up in Lincoln Center until not too long ago ; The huge photograph on it is one I quite like of me as Zerlina, about to be kissed by a Giovanni, from an old production I did once .
As they were about to trash it, I decided I wanted to keep it. A little souvenir for the rest of my singing life.
However,HOW to get it home was another story; It is way too big to fit in a car or even a van.
Being independent, stubborn and in an anti- diva mode, I decided to take it, by myself, anyway. By Subway.
6 feet of cardboard; Down the stairs, (try not to fall) 30 minute ride,(blocking half of a car) up the stairs,(oops, sorry ma'am) and when I was finally walking up the hill towards my house, (my little fingers were in such pain), I just gave up and carried it on the top of my head, this time laughing at my self.

More to know

Even though my last 2 shows went well, I found that I am still in hyper-sensitive mode.

This morning I warmed up, dressed up and went to the theatre early, to warm up some more. It's a matinee and that means that I need an extra special stretching of the voice to make it work well.

Passing by Whole Foods to get a cup of coffee and a treat: a regular, (not a "non fat" muffin as I usually get if I do at all),
I learnt that a) Whole Foods doesn't carry sweeteners ("No artificial stuff here, ma'am") for my coffee, b) The muffin I chose (I didn't read it's label) was nothing to be happy about: It was a blueberry *corn* muffin, not what I wanted to sink my teeth into at all. I HATE corn muffins. I don't even like blueberries that much.

Tears started to form in my eyes and soon enough, I was walking with my sour coffee and fattening yucky muffin towards the theatre, thinking: I am CRYING because of a muffin. I must not be well.
I know why I am in such a state: I let people (and the wrong ones) get to me. After my last show ( initially feeling pretty cheerful ), I made the mistake of going out for a bite with a dry person who is not from within the business, somebody who doesn't know (as most people don't ) that since you just sang for the past 4 hours, and prepared for those for so many days, months, giving, giving, and giving some more, "you must be so tired", Even more so my friend: right now, I am peeled off, naked, bleeding, raw. (Please know: if your words happen to be the first ones to hit a bowing performer: Only compliments or white lies please, we are begging of you. Nothing else for a while).
That person, that other night, was very critical and negative about the production; Negative and critical about my colleagues and only a bit kinder, (thank God for politeness) about me (..."And, you also looked fat in that costume").

Rule for self: Go home alone and get re-shielded.
I was thinking about it in my dressing room today: That's how Juan Diego is. That's how Erwin is, and the rest of my friends who manage to live this crazy life so well; they've got some damn thick skin protecting the soft baby seed of their soul.

A day to grow wiser

Today was my day to be comforted. Maybe because it is my birthday, or maybe because Rosh Hashana passed by un noticed and all of a sudden I realized that I needed, and I am taking it; a day, a fresh crisp day like today to soothe me, soothe us, stop the clock for a moment, let me be loved.
And love poured in,with the sunlight and the first phone ring, loved poured in from family from friends, from strangers too. And like a new bride carried by her groom, I was taken by my husband to cruise around our magnificent city, for hours of warm breeze and soft waves and slow breathing and breath taking sunset over our tourist filled boat which became our own private sailing universe. The city lights from this side of the highway and the tall buildings;( we never dare to look them in the eye) but today they looked like stars in our sky.

Down, downtown

Here is another reason why I love New York so much:
Being sickly and pretty down, actually very, very down, I just didn't care today what I looked like. Hell, Everybody on the subway looks like shit too.
I headed down to see Lar and be depressed in his mellow, safe, loving company.
So I wore my old jeans, a pair of ugly flat boots, and a huge down jacket. Put my unbrushed hair in a pony tail and covered my eyes with some old sunglasses. And left my virus- infested house for some fresher air.
Non judgmental New York: New York on the subway, New York on the streets when you are incognito and looking, well, like you do in the morning, before the effort. New York way uptown or way downtown, and lots in the middle too. New York the great that picks you up and shows you that even if you are lost, you are eventually somewhere, and even if you have lost, there are still so many losers all around, just like you.